(This was given to me by my doctor on my last visit. Shocking to many will be the idea that a doctor might not be a GOPer. Live and learn).
I____________, do solemnly swear to uphold the principles of a socialism-free society and heretofore pledge my word that I shall strictly adhere to the following:
I will complain about the destruction of the 1st Amendment Rights in this country, while I am duly being allowed to exercise my 1st Amendment Rights.
I will complain about the destruction of my 2nd Amendment Rights in this country, while I am duly being allowed to exercise my 2nd Amendment Rights by legally, but brazenly, brandishing unconcealed firearms in public.
I will forswear the time-honored principles of fairness, decency, and respect by screaming unintelligible platitudes regarding tyranny, Nazi-ism, and socialism at public town halls. Also:
I pledge to eliminate all government intervention in my life. I will abstain from the use of and participation in any socialist goods and services including but not limited to the following:
* Social Security
* State Children's Health Insurance Programs (SCHIP)
* US Postal Service
* Roads and Highways
* Air Travel (regulated by the socialist FAA)
* The US Railway System
* Public Subways and Metro Systems
* Public Bus and Light-rail Systems
* Rest Areas on Highways
* All Government-Funded Local/State Projects (e.g. see Iowa 2009 federal senate appropriations-- http//grassley.senate.gov/issues/upload/Master-Approps-73109.pdf) Public Water and Sewer Services (goodbye socialist toilet, shower, dishwasher, kitchen sink, outdoor hose!)
* Public and State Universities and Colleges
* Public Primary and Secondary Schools
* Sesame Street
* Publicly Funded Anti-Drug Use Education for Children
* Public Museums
* Public Parks and Beaches
* State and National Parks
* Public Zoos
* Unemployment Insurance
* Municipal Garbage and Recycling Services
* Treatment at Any Hospital or Clinic That Ever Received Funding From Local, State or Federal
Government (pretty much all of them)
* Medical Services and Medications That Were Created or Derived From Any Government Grant
or Research Funding (again, pretty much all of them)
* Socialist Byproducts of Government Investment Such as Duct Tape and Velcro (Nazi-NASA
* Use of the Internets, email, and networked computers, as the DoD's ARPENET was the basis for
subsequent computer networking.
* Foodstuffs, Meats, Produce, and Crops that were grown with, fed with, raised with, or that
contain inputs from crops grown with Government Subsidies.
* Clothing made from Crops (e.g. Cotton) that were grown with or that contain inputs from
* If a veteran of the government-run socialist US military, I will forgo my VA benefits and insist
on paying for my own medical care
I will not tour socialist government buildings like the Capital in Washington, D.C,
I pledge to never take myself, my family, or my children on a tour of the following types of socialist locations, including but not limited to:
* Smithsonian Museums such as the Air and Space Museum or Museum of American History
* The socialist Washington, Lincoln, and Jefferson Monuments.
* The government operated Statue of Liberty
* The Grand Canyon
* The socialist World War II and Vietnam Veterans Memorials'
* The government-run socialist-propaganda location know as Arlington National Cemetery
* All other public-funded socialist sites, whether in my state or in Washington, D.C.
I will urge my Member of Congress and Senators to forgo their government salary and government-provided healthcare.
I will oppose and condemn the government-funded, and therefore, socialist military of the United States of America.
I will boycott the products of socialist defense contractors such as GE, Lockheed-Martin, Boeing, Northrop Grumman, General Dynamics, Raytheon, Humana, FedEx, General Motors, Honeywell, and hundreds of other that are paid by our socialist government to produce goods for our socialist army.
I will protest socialist security departments such as the Pentagon, FBI, CIA, Department of Homeland Security, TSA, Department of Justice and their socialist employees.
Upon reaching eligible retirement age, I will tear up my socialist Social Security checks.
Upon reaching age 65, I will forgo Medicare and pay for my own private health insurance until I die.
SWORN ON A BIBLE AND SIGNED THIS DAY OF______________ IN THE YEAR______.
Signed Printed Name/Town and State
God damn you Al Gore
6 hours ago