Sunday, November 7, 2010

Sight

I'm getting ready for cataract surgery Tuesday. This photo of me is how I see the world now.  Everything is muted, pale, slightly blurry even with my glasses on.  My cataracts have gotten so bad I can no longer read normal sized print.  I can no longer drive at sunset or at night.  Glare makes me blind.  I can no longer walk in the late afternoon because at some point I'll have to walk west and the glare of sun hitting my eyes will blind me.  I wear glasses that turn darker as the light gets brighter and corrects the maximum for cataracts, but I haven't been able to read a book in two or three years.  I used to read at least one book a day, at most, three or four.  Now I just can't see well enough to read at all. Things have lost their color, their vividness.  The world is a paler place for me. 

It's time for me to put my house in order and start spending less time watching news.  This winter I will read more and work on my own writing.  I will keep order in my own tiny house and worry less about the House of Representatives.  We lost the house; I just assume we'll get nothing done until after the 2012 presidential election.  I have lost so many things in the tiny black hole that seems to exist somewhere inside my lovely little cottage.  I have to empty one space after another until I've organized things so that I can put my hands on everything I need at any given moment.  I need to bring my life back into focus. If I can accomplish these things I'll probably be happier, less angry, less anxious.  So, I'm making these resolutions on the brink of regaining sight.

12 comments:

LeAnn said...

Peggy, I hope the cataract surgery improves your vision and I hope the other kinds of visions you name for your attention fruit beautifully for you.

Woody (Tokin Librul/Rogue Scholar/ Helluvafella!) said...

Best wishes on the forthcoming restoration. Imaho, working on YOUR writing is akin to burnishing already shiny steel.

Border Explorer said...

Although it is not enjoyable to anticipate surgery, I hope the results will make that well worthwhile.

Gwendolyn H. Barry said...

Hey there, I'll keep you in mind this week and send Light! I think you're making a wonderful choice to live w/o so much stress! Eh? You speak a huge truth... we are just sort of diddling til' 2012... well, politically speaking and who seriously thinks the Rethugs will get anything done save campaigning? Good luck sweetie.

Utah Savage said...

You are all very kind. Woody, I especially appreciate the kind words about my writing. I'm going to try very hard to publish something this year. I said that last year, but... Well, last year is gone and I didn't make any progress. I'm making my new years resolutions early this year.

Beach Bum said...

Just get well, like you said nothing is going to get don until 2012.

Seriously, as a get well present I'll send you my copy of Conroy's "South of Broad" if you email me your street address.

BAC said...

Best wishes on your surgery. And once you are healed, getting back an important part of your life.

BAC

Utah Savage said...

Beach, you got a deal. Let's wait until I've got good vision in both eyes. Then you're on. I hope you plan to deliver the book in person.

BAC, Thanks!

darkblack said...

Did it 'til your eyes went funny, eh?

:D

Here's to flying colors (and clearer vision) post-surgery, P.

;>)

Utah Savage said...

Dark, I did. Here's hoping to doing it more with better color and greater clarity.

an average patriot said...

Good luck Peggy you just relax, you're one of the good ones.

susan said...

Best wishes to you for restored vision and clarity of purpose.