Tonight I forgot whether or not I fed my big old dog Cyrus. I know I fed him at least once today, but I'm supposed to feed him twice a day and give him his thyroid and pain pills. I don't eat on a schedule, but Cyrus does. But I was lying in bed trying to find something worth watching on TV when I realized I might have missed feeding him. Not that he was begging, and it wouldn't kill him to miss his dinner, but the pills. The pills matter. I don't know whether or not it's worse for him to have too much of his medication or too little.
I used to have this problem with myself. I do not eat if I'm not hungry. So that gives me clues about the food thing. But the pill thing is always the same. I take the same pills or thereabouts at roughly the same time every day morning and night. And sometimes I think I took them but might not have. It is a mindless routine. Finally I had to start putting them in pill minders for a week at a time. Now I can know for sure if I took them or not. Sometimes I still forget to take them. I will eventually discover the error. But I never double dose myself like I used to. I have no daily pill dispenser with morning and evening measured out for Cyrus. Am I finally losing it? Do I even deserve to have a dog? So in guilt I fed him just in case. But I might have dosed him twice. That's bad. And in guilt I probably won't tell the House Call Vet.
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